Back in May, at the funeral of a colleague's mother, I began to cry and could not stop, already beginning to mourn the loss I knew was soon ahead. My then-boss, a wise and wonderful woman, held me in a tight hug afterwards, knowing, without my saying a word, what I was thinking. And then… Continue reading This is grief
Tag: dying
Gifts
This was going to be another post entirely, about the hurt Mama J inflicted about our new house and about my sweet husband's defense of me, my heart stinging with pain and bitterness. But then something wonderful happened -- two somethings, actually -- and I decided to write this story instead. "It is under the greatest adversity that there… Continue reading Gifts
It’s not you …
Well, maybe it's you... I had to break up with Mama J, just a little bit. I'm sure there is some kind of official name for this -- caregiver syndrome, or something like that -- but the day I cracked was Hallmark Ornament Day, aka Big Deal Day 2016. Each year, Mama J buys Hallmark… Continue reading It’s not you …
Positive attitude
Last night we pulled into a handicapped spot at the store and I opened the trunk to get out the wheelchair. Mama J said, quite seriously, "Do you think when people see me they wonder why I'm using a wheelchair? Because I don't look like I need a wheelchair." Um, ok. Glad for the positive… Continue reading Positive attitude
“It’s personal.” Or is it?
This weekend, B, Mama J and I ventured off on a road trip to New Iberia for a Father's Day with B's family. The trip proved to be harder on all of us than anyone could foresee. For Mama J, I think, the strain of traveling, especially on the heels of a long visit with… Continue reading “It’s personal.” Or is it?
Nothing new
I realized today that I had not posted anything in a while, and it set me to wondering why. I had a disconcerting revelation. I started my blog as a way to work through the emotional stress and distress of caring for my mom, and it has been a great mechanism for that purpose. So… Continue reading Nothing new
“I used to have nice legs.”
Not long ago I asked Mama J what she considered her best physical attribute. I used to have nice legs, she said, and there was no regret in her voice, only fact. Next post: Nothing new
Perspective
Periodically I'll see one of those memes on Facebook or the web that reminds us to be patient with others, whose personal difficulties may be undetected: This one in particular comes to mind: "Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always." I've been focused on my own family's struggles (understandably,… Continue reading Perspective
Fall
This is what we moved Mama J down here for. This rushing to aid after yet another fall. Wiping Mama J's back and bottom to clean where she peed after she fell. Letting someone else cook her breakfast. Working with a team of aides and nurses and social workers and bath ladies and medicine deliveries.… Continue reading Fall